It’s Not Arrogance, Stupid!
It Is about Being Happy the Way You Are
In this write up I want to discuss a very personal opinion, something I truly believe in. It is also one attribute that has helped me gain mental strength over the years and ward off negative aspects out of my life.
Let’s begin with an anecdote. During my university years a classmate had told me she thought I was arrogant and found my attitude condescending.
“Thank you,” I responded. She was surprised with my response, but I had my reasons, and the expression of gratitude was straight from the heart. To be honest, she didn’t know me well enough to judge. We weren’t even friends. The interaction should have been cordial, not judgmental. But we live in a day and age when people are quick to judge. So I don’t blame her.
At the same time I won’t ever admit to being arrogant. There’s a superiority complex rather an unwillingness to feel inferior in front of any one no matter what. There is a lot of self pride and respect for the individual in me of course. Most importantly though there is this inherent happiness of being happy the way I am. These are attributes that can be construed as arrogance by people who are quick to judge.
This can be a reason as to why I don’t have many friends. It is also a fact that over the years I have started considering myself somewhat elitist, as in I don’t strive for the positive opinion and goodwill of a significant majority…appreciation from a select few is more than enough.
The above assertions may again seem arrogant, but it is actually not the case. I have never claimed to be flawless or impeccable. That said, I have over the years learnt to live the way I am, with all my strengths and weaknesses, with all my good and bad qualities. I am an individual who doesn’t shy away from accepting his mistakes, and at the same time doesn’t refrain from putting forth an honest opinion.
Unfortunately, I have mostly had friends who never appreciated the fact that I was content with my own self. In their bid to change my personality they kept looking for ways to prove me wrong. They could never accept the fact that an individual is happy the way he is, rather they never wanted to. At the same time they always overlooked the fact that I never asked them, or attempted to, change their ways to my liking. In fact I learnt very early that I have to accept others as they are, or distance myself rather than attempting to change them as per my convenience.
It is very easy to find the negative qualities in others. One doesn’t have to make an effort. What’s difficult is to look for and appreciate the positive aspect of someone’s personality. Having a set of negative minded friends and acquaintances seldom helped me. To be continuously told that you are wrong in everything is anything but funny. That said, there has also been a significant positive as in they have taught me what not to do, what not to be.
It didn’t take me long to realize that it is futile to attempt to change their perception about me. They liked being opinionated about me, pointing out my flaws and discussing me in group meetings. There was no way I could change that mindset. In fact had I even tried to, it would have given them yet another opportunity to put the blame on me. So what did I deem as a feasible solution?
Well, to accept things as they are and move on with life. It makes no sense to invest time and effort in people who are rigid. On the contrary being in the company of individuals who appreciate the ‘you’ in you makes more sense. Does it sound arrogant?
Let me reassure you it is not. It is about looking at the bright side. It is about being positive. It is about not having unnecessary expectations from either yourself or from others. It is about accepting your self (and others), and living with it.
